After having made a wordpress account a year ago, I believe it’s due time for me to reveal that I have another blog.  I’m still trying to decide what to do with xanga…but I’ll think about that for another time. Anyway, back to wordpress…

“Joy|Pain…and everything else in between” sounds a bit emo, I am aware of that, but being a person that has emotions (I think that just about makes the whole world emo), I think this title is relevant for me.  I feel like my daily life straddles this line between joy and pain; I get a dose of both, and depending on the day’s circumstances, one side tips the other.

So that’s why I’ve named my blog this way, because I need some release about that abstract, vague topic of LIFE.  And for me, life encompasses those two extremes of joy and pain and every emotion/experience in between.

It’s strange how a post box on a web page can become a sort of sanctuary of personal expression, a writing safehaven.  I think I still feel that way about my xanga but at the same time a new phase in life calls for a new environment and new experiences. And yet, tonight feels like a return.  For someone who loves to write, it’s been a real long time since I’ve written out my thoughts. Creativity had become stagnant and over time I could feel the words slipping away from me, and whatever I did write or say felt so….powerless.  I’m not saying that I thought my words carried so much weight before, but there used to be an energy about self-expression that has recently waned.  Thoughts didn’t seem to surge through my veins to my fingertips the way they used to.

And now, as I write this, I still feel like a stranger to the process.  It might seem odd that someone who is currently studying to be a journalist can find herself a foreigner to expression, but here I am…starved for inspiration with a passion that longs to be rekindled.  I miss the comfort of scribbled words in my journal and the margins of my school notes…in the letters to friends. A thousand thoughts are muddled in my brain, and as I like to tell a butterfly-loving friend, it’s time to regurgitate my soul…albeit in the Web 2.0 world where I can dialogue with friends and strangers…and I find that strangely comforting.

Here’s to giving you another try, old friend.

more challenges, more scars … more faith, more heart